After enduring the drunken nightmare of Canada Day, I now dislike Canadians more than ever. Why? The amazing amount of anti-American bigotry spewed forth by Canadians of all colors amazed me. This kind of fierce anti-American rhetoric is something I would expect from a Russian veteran from the Cold War days, or a radical Islamist. Not one of our supposed allies and neighbours, the Canadians. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Canadians dislike everyone who isn’t Canadian, and they dislike us Americans for our strength, diversity, power, resilience, size, beauty, individualism, cockiness and national sense of pride. You see, Canadians as a whole are small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And they know it. When was the last time Canada played a key role in world affairs? Winning the Vancouver Olympics in men’s and women’s Hockey doesn’t bloody count. Hockey is a sport, not a global political or social event. Don’t tell that to a Canadian, though. They might spontaneously. Dad looked at the three of us in turn, then Tami for good measure. "Do I want to hear this?"I shrugged. "I quit football today. So, Mom, when's dinner? It smells great."Mom gave her head a small shake. "If you could really smell it, you wouldn't say that. It's tuna noodle casserole, not one of you favorites. And dinner's in twenty minutes, so you have plenty of time for your story."So I gave them an abridged version of playing for Parker and deciding to quit."But you've played for coaches you didn't like before," Mom pointed out."But never one I didn't respect. Nobody likes all their coaches, but I had at least some respect for them. If not as a coach, then as a person, or at least as a dad who took the time to work with his kid's Little League or whatever. With Coach Branson, I didn't like him a lot at first, but I knew he was a damn fine..." A sharp look from Mom made me reconsider my word choice. "An excellent coach. With Parker, I don't like him, and I don't respect him. It was.
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